The room tags come with a rectangle around the room number. I don't want the rectangle to appear so I tried editing the family only the family doesn't show the rectangle like the door and window tags do. Where is that rectangle coming from and how do I either delete it or modify its size?
The Rectangle will be part of that Tag family. I suspect the Tag Family in question comes with 2 "Types"- one type has the Rectangle and the other one does not. So in your project- select the Tag- and then choose the Type Selector drop-down on the Properties Palette and see what types you have available to you- swap it out for a different type.
Alternatively, edit the Family again- and in the Family Editor change the Type to show the one with the rectangle. You can then delete the rectangle, save the family (give it a different name to preserve the original .RFA file) and then load it into your project and test it.
Let us know how you get on.